"One taught me love, one taught me patience, and one taught me pain. Now I'm so amazing! I've loved and I lost, But that's not what I see. So look what I got, look what you taught me. And for that, I say...."
Yeah you guessed it this is about what my ex(s) taught me. Let me just say I didn't get a real boyfriend until I got to college. While in high school I really didn't get to date my mother didn't play that. So once I started getting real attention in college it was a tad bit overwhelming. The guy I did date was older but by two years. (I was 19 he was 22 when we met). Things were going great he pushed me to go for my actual dreams and not just my teacher dreams but building clients for my makeup because he saw the talent there. He was somebody who took a chance on a dream and it paid off, it was only right that he pushed me to chase mine. And for that I wanna say thank you, next.
My ex was somebody that could be a bit controlling as our summer romance came to a end he went back to his school to finish his last semester. Me I stayed home and attended school in Chicago because of other reasons. He graduated and soon got his own place which I basically lived there like seriously I was always over there. I real life needed more friends smh. But winter break was coming to an end and I had the chance to go back to school at the university I started at. Me full of excitement I shared the news with him and to my surprise he was not supportive of that. He felt that me going away for school would "weaken our relationship". Can you believe that bullshit? But me being young and "in love" i stayed in Chicago. I later realized this was a form of manipulation. He was indeed controlling, and for that I wanna say thank you, next.
Social media wasn't really our thing for many reasons. *one being he didn't want his other girlfriend seeing me * He taught me we didn't need validation from people on social media that if we loved each other that's really all we needed. We didn't take pictures when we went on dates and we were always going on dates. Breakfast, birthdays, we even planned a trip to go to Vegas together but that wasn't anybodies business but ours. Trust me I'm super happy he taught me that but it also taught me it's okay to be proud and wanna show off your significant other even if it wasn't going to be him. I've learned about having a balance when it came to social media in relationships. And for that I wanna say thank you, next.
A different sorta ex (if we can call him that) taught me always ask "what are we?". Let me say unless a guy asks you to be his girlfriend, then sis you single. He used words like that to hurt me. When he would flirt with other girls in front of me or ignore me for days at a time and would only hit me up during creeping hours. And I fell for it every single time. I eventually got to a point where I knew i deserved better. I told him in so many words to get his shit together or leave me alone for good. Y'all wanna know his response? "It's not like we together or anything, we just talking", excuse me!? Talking!? Mind you this was somebody I knew for years who we knew that we'd eventually probably getting married one day because joking we talked about our wedding and how many kids we both wanted and even their names.. but that shows you that in a situationship you can never assume. And for that I wanna say thank you, next.
That same guy also showed me it's okay to show your emotions you don't have to be tough 24/7. He showed me how to properly communicate my feelings. Even when I didn't know what those emotions were. Sad to say there are plenty of adults who don't know how to properly express their feelings, just a simple "I'm feeling this way because you..." or "I feel uncomfortable when you..." can make a relationship with anybody stronger, and he taught me that. And for that I wanna say thank you, next.
I know y'all probably like "sis why you thanking them for all the bad things they put you through?". Because without those lessons and experiences I wouldn't be the Leah that everyone loves today. These are all life lessons I needed to learn.
I went to my twitter and Instagram to ask you guys what's something your ex taught you good or bad and these were the ones that stood out to me....
A different sorta ex (if we can call him that) taught me always ask "what are we?". Let me say unless a guy asks you to be his girlfriend, then sis you single. He used words like that to hurt me. When he would flirt with other girls in front of me or ignore me for days at a time and would only hit me up during creeping hours. And I fell for it every single time. I eventually got to a point where I knew i deserved better. I told him in so many words to get his shit together or leave me alone for good. Y'all wanna know his response? "It's not like we together or anything, we just talking", excuse me!? Talking!? Mind you this was somebody I knew for years who we knew that we'd eventually probably getting married one day because joking we talked about our wedding and how many kids we both wanted and even their names.. but that shows you that in a situationship you can never assume. And for that I wanna say thank you, next.
That same guy also showed me it's okay to show your emotions you don't have to be tough 24/7. He showed me how to properly communicate my feelings. Even when I didn't know what those emotions were. Sad to say there are plenty of adults who don't know how to properly express their feelings, just a simple "I'm feeling this way because you..." or "I feel uncomfortable when you..." can make a relationship with anybody stronger, and he taught me that. And for that I wanna say thank you, next.
I know y'all probably like "sis why you thanking them for all the bad things they put you through?". Because without those lessons and experiences I wouldn't be the Leah that everyone loves today. These are all life lessons I needed to learn.
I went to my twitter and Instagram to ask you guys what's something your ex taught you good or bad and these were the ones that stood out to me....
- That living with someone doesn't give you a reason to stay in a toxic relationship.
- Never call women crazy.
- She taught me 87th street Harold's is the best location.
- Taught me how to hold my liquor.
- Take your feelings in to consideration (what you feel is real).
- Honesty is key; if you can't be honest with someone why be with them.
- Everything doesn't need an explanation.
- No one is perfect (having unrealistic expectations).
- Don't bring your past relationship into your next one.
- How to live without em.
- How to go 6 + rounds.
- How to accept a woman for what she brings to the table; damaged or not.
- How to support one another.
- Fully move on before going into another relationship.
I'll leave you with a question to sit and think on for next week's entry; does makeup have a impact on your life?